Are we there yet?

October 12, 2015



Has it really been over a year since I was last here in this space?

Honestly, I feel a tad bit relieved because I seriously thought it had been longer. 

So...how are you? I've missed you!

Me? Well, let me tell you a little bit about what I have been up to since I last checked in before the start of B-School, GG2CB, and the Sacred Alone. I completed each of the courses, but ended up more overwhelmed than ever. I started to really question what I wanted to do next, what my passions were, and then when I thought I had it worked out self doubt creeped in. I quickly sunk down inside of myself and just laid there still. Hunkered down. I was self preserving.

Not long after, life just picked me up and decided I was now going in the passenger seat. The truth is, I've been drifting. Taking each day one step at a time and tackling whatever came my way.

Don't get me wrong, there has be a lot of fun in the last year and half. I took some classes, read some books, watched some great football, got a promotion, moved in with my boyfriend, grew a little garden, and more. But it has been a little aimless and went by in such a blur!

Looking back on past posts and images I created, I am shocked that I let this slip away so easily. (I blame this mostly on my laptop breaking, but there's definitely more to it.) I feel like I had really found my visual style and voice and I was ready to take it further and start a business helping others to do the same. The trouble is, I realized that my passion for graphic design wasn't actually I wanted to invest my time and build a career. I had a passion and talent for it, but when faced with a decision to start building a business, I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't afraid. I think it wasn't really in alignment with the lifestyle I desired. It's a good thing that I figured that out before I took the leap, but ultimately I wound up feeling lost. I thought I had finally found it...that elusive Purpose. 

So today, I am here at another crossroads, similar to where I last left you. In all of the changes and growth that happened over the last year, I recently realized I somehow lost myself. I lost touch with my creative force. I lost connection with my body and my mind. I drifted far away from everything I thought I knew about what I wanted. So, here and now I am starting over. I am coming back to the place where I last left myself.

I've learned that the only way to plug back in is to make room.  In order to reconnect with my creative force, I must create. To love my body and mind, I must embrace each lovingly and give them adequate room to breathe. To ground myself, I must focus within and make space to honor what I need each day. It's time for self love. It's time to put these important pieces of myself first and take back the drivers seat.

I will be musing here at joyful.life periodically about life, personal challenges, music, and anything that inspires or moves me. At the same time, it is my intent to build another website/blog focused on the fitness/health/goal-setting side of my life...but more on that later. For now, I just wanted to take the first step towards reconnecting with my spirit and my sacred online space.

I am already feeling better.

Oh, how I have missed you.