forced to be daring

September 17, 2012

Great post from Workisnotajob about never giving up.
Well, I suppose I inadvertently found my way to be daring this month. It's not my ideal way of pushing myself to greater limits, but I suppose The Universe had to find a way to smack me in the face and say "slow down." And this time I have no choice but to listen...walking with crutches is very solid reason to slow waaaaayyyyy down.

Last Wednesday I fell. Walking through a hallway, headed up a couple of stairs, I slipped on the first step up and fell. Mortified by the moment I sat up and turned to the person walking next to me to admit I was hurt. I wasn't getting up to shake this one off. Shortly after, a trip to the ER, a visit with the orthopedic surgeon confirmed...I am broken.  I have been diagnosed with a 2nd metatarsal fracture in my left foot

Now, for various reasons I won't talk about the details of the injury or the incident, but I will say that I am dreading the inevitable next step of surgery. While the procedure will depend on the outcome of CT scans and my own gut instinct reaction, I am bracing myself for what will likely happen. (Tonight I can thank Google for a few freak outs, but mostly some reassuring words from medical studies and many bloggers out there who have tracked their own experience with this rare, but challenging injury.)

At this moment I have to be daring. I have to get out of bed each day (knowing that there may be 180 more just like it in my future) balance on my crutches and carry on.

While daring is normally reserved for those who choose to go one step further than bravery...those who seek out risks and adventure...I am choosing to apply it to my situation. I need to harness this situation in someway. I need to take back control of what is happening and be bold. I need to stand on my own two (metaphorical) feet in order to face the next challenge before me and simply carry on. It would be way to easy to just lay down and quit (and I'll admit...have another crutch-throwing fit), but I don't want to go out like that. So it has been decided...I will be daring.

I WILL be daring.

I will figure it all out as I go and be daring. I'm even rocking a teal knee scooter with a basket on the front and a cup holder at work so I can still do my job with freedom and not literally be attached to my desk. (Big step today as I travelled to the ladies room alone - through 6 doors - and grabbed a soda on my way back without assistance or the use of a backpack!) At the least it has been entertaining for my coworkers to see me rallying around today - the first day on my scooter - slinging paperwork from my basket and bumping into office furniture left and right. Soon my wheels will be tricked out with handlebar streamers, a bell, and some cushion covers. (Yes, I'm serious.) So, look out world! I've got my sassy scooter ready and I'm on a roll!

So without deliberation and planning I will be daring this Daring September. I will set aside reservation and fear and keep moving. Of course, here in this little space of mine, I'm sure you will learn more about the challenges I face during the healing process, and I sincerely hope those words are inspiring to anyone else facing injury, illness, or challenges in their life.

Until next time, plant your feet firmly, slow down, and take care of your lovely self.

monthly music

September 6, 2012

This month it's about finding a way to be daring. Since I'm not exactly wearing my confident "daring" pants at the moment I'm seeking calm-laden, soul-filling, peace-charged moments where I can seek out that person inside me. The one that just grabs hold of my life and drives me forward...dares me to be more...pushes me to the next level.

Music is a big part of what inspires me. All phases of my life have soundtracks that match my mood. Every once in a while I hear a song from my past and I am taken back to whatever feeling I was processing at the time, project I was working on, or place I was experiencing. Not necessarily through the lyrics, but the mood and emotion I feel through the music. When I find the right songs to listen to, I find my creativity elevates, my attention focused, and I dance through projects without effort. I love and crave that about music.

This month here are a few songs that I am feeling the mood of today. I think these few songs will get me to that "daring" place. The playlist starts out a little bit meditative, bleeds into powerhouse voices that feed my inner fire, shakes it up with bits of toe tapping, and then backs off into the basic melodies that relax my soul. The lyrical highlights are...

"Tomorrow mountains we will climb. tonight the stars and fire shines in our eyes. In the woods we're alive."
"...Darling if you answer, oh we'll wander, down the garden where it's cool." 
"...Don't let your soul lose control, let you roll down the mountain you climbed."

So, I hope you enjoy this month's 10 tracks. Have a listen and see if any of them resonate with you.

Daring September 2012
1. Fire By Night - Josh Garrels
2. Early in the Morning, I'll Come Calling - James Vincent McMorrow
3. Head or Your Heart - Mat Kearnty
4. Hey Lover - Keri Noble
5. Criminal - ZZ Ward
6. Stay - Sarah Bareilles
7. Oasis - Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
8. Home - Phillip Phillips (had to do it)
9. The Ladder - Andrew Belle
10. Oceans - Death and a Cure