Shrinky Dink necklace made by joyful.marasoaring, originally uploaded by MaraRayanne. |
I stopped, sorrowfully admired it's coloring for a bit, and thought...should I deal with this?
The last time this happened (only once) someone in the building took care of it before I came home from work. In the interest of not being late to the office, along with not being sure how to deal with it, I decided to head on to work and allow someone else to put the poor little bird to rest.
On my way down the street I started to wonder about the symbolism of crossing the path of a dead bird. I decided to look it up at work and there doesn't seem to be any historical bad omens (unless you know the specific type of bird) and only people's personal superstitions. Either way, Cass is bringing over some sage to burn in my apartment, in the foyer, and on the steps. Cass is very spiritual and I think it will be good for me to do this and that it will help us both to cleanse this space.
When I arrived home from work that evening, the poor little bird was still there. Laying awkward, yet peaceful, on my stoop. I went upstairs to put down my stuff and grabbed a spoon as my trusty shovel and a baggie as my transport and went down to the front porch.
I gently scooped up the bird and walked to a nearby bush to find him a suitable resting place. As I was digging the hole, trying to find solid earth (it all seemed to be loose and dry) I said soft prayers in my mind blessing mother nature's beautiful creature and said that I was sorry. I am not sure if it flew into my window, or if one of the neighbor cats left it as a present for our building, either way, I was sad for such a frail and gentle creature. I placed the bird in the hole and slowly covered it with one handful of dirt at a time until it was gone. Then I placed all of the small stones I had found while digging on top. Rest in peace poor little bird.
Today, I sit and think about things that we notice and don't take responsibility for. We assume someone else will handle it. Whether it's a piece of trash on the sidewalk, a mess to clean up, or even someone abusing a loved one. We tend to turn our head and tell ourselves that we didn't see it so that we don't have to take responsibility for it, whatever it may be.
I had passed the bird by. I even stopped to look at it for a few minutes. It's feathers were beautiful and I contemplated taking a picture. Then, in the interest of time and not assuming responsibility, I left it behind. Later in the day, the responsibility was offered to me again. For some reason, it was meant for me. This time, I embraced it and learned a valuable lesson. My eyes and heart show me what I am supposed to see in life. I cannot ignore the gifts that they give me. From now on, I will take responsibility for what is laid out before me whether it was my mistake or if I caused it to happen. I am one person who CAN make a difference.
You are a kind, gentle and thoughtful soul. The way you put words to paper is touching and surely emotional for those who read them.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I can see you in those moments - passing the little bird by, then helping it along later in the day. Thank you for sharing such beauty and sorrow, wrapped up together as they always seem to be...
ReplyDeleteMaybe it means something in your life is leaving and something new will begin. Thank you for taking the time to write all this down. Very touching and I could invision you in this post. Melinda
ReplyDeletebeautifully written, very thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteJo (Mama Marks)